this is lisa michelle.

Love for Whitney

2012-02-13T11:17:00.000-08:00

In the middle of running my lines, notes and staging for Obeah Opera (the production I've been incessantly posting and talking about), my thoughts pulled me away from that place and onto the death of Whitney Houston.

Wow. It took a couple days, but her passing is actually just hitting me now. When a celebrity dies young, particularly female musicians, I selfishly begin to think of myself because I endeavour to be on a similar path. Of course, I'm referring to their upward paths, not their downard spirals. So many bright & successful talents suddenly lose focus and sanity for reasons us 'regular' folk never seem to understand. Why is that? What happens? How does it happen? As an artist who's getting deeper into her purpose and expending more energy into the performance industry, I often stop and wonder about these things. If I could talk to the ghosts of Whitney Houston or even Amy Winehouse... what would they tell me to look out for? What would they warn me to steer clear of? Do they have any regrets about their success, or even their demise? Why did they die so young?

I'm trying to stay balanced, but being an artist is like jumping off a cliff. Meaning, something a 'normal' person wouldn't do voluntarily. As an artist, you pretty much sign up for financial and emotional instability. But the hardship is endured in exchange for a life of PASSION and PURPOSE! Sharing my soul through a talent I've been blessed and entrusted with is incomparable to any other feeling I've had in this world. Trust me. The rewards are as great as the challenges are steep - this is why artists do what they do. And why they'll risk almost everything else to continue doing it.

I just pray that as I continue to do, I won't forget to be. I endeavour to BE healthy, present and whole in mind, body and spirit. The more we take care of ourselves first, the more we'll have to give.

Whitney... thank you for sharing your heart and your gift with us. You sacrificed much and we love you for it, even if we didn't always extend that love to you when you needed it most.

Rest In Peace,

xox

The image that always comes to my mind when people say
"Whitney Houston". So beautiful... regal & serene:

One of many rich, authentic performances by this Goddess:

If you have never performed on stage before, watch her closely in this clip... imagine how it would feel to hold and deliver all that power to so many people. Incredible! She's sitting down and she's still sweating for God's sake! Just giving, giving, giving of her soul! I live for this!

PEACE at Home

2012-02-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

I just made a "Tweet" about doing laundry and feeling blessed. Simultaneously. A seemingly insignificant triumph, but still a triumph after all.

I'm grateful for any moment of positivity these days. Not because these days have been especially hard, but especially challenging. There's a difference. I see "hard" as being something immovable. Frozen and without life. But through challenge, comes movement... comes growth... comes change. The letters are even embedded inside. Challenges bring forth change and I can feel myself going through a significant one right now. And I know this change will be a triumphant one.

I'm being pulled and stretched in rehearsals for Obeah Opera, the first professional theatrical production I'm having the pleasure of being involved in (when you have a moment, do click on the link, this opera is worth singing about). Like other musicals I've been in, there's vocals, dance steps & staging to learn but this production has called for much more. Because the story is based on true historical events and because that history is mine, makes for a heavy and steep learning curve that's difficult to bend around at times. But what amazes me, is that I do! With every curve, I'm sharpening my sword... preparing for battle... getting firm and ready to conquer the next challenge ahead.

With legwarmers and a pashmina as my armour, ginger tea in my flask and a 200-page score in my arms, I am a storyteller. And with some pain, I'm getting better at it every day, with every rehearsal. Shit, I'm getting pretty damn good :-). And it's even more amazing to watch it happening with everyone else in the cast as well.

I could say so much more, but I really am doing laundry. It's my one day off this week from play rehearsals and I'm appreciating the peace at home. I love a good challenge, but today I'm also gratefully embracing the familiar pauses in between. This... I know how to do :-).

Who's with me?

2012-01-24T22:49:00.000-08:00

I got home from rehearsal a few heartbeats ago and I can't tell you how badly I want you to be apart of what we're creating. The energy, the vibe, the MUSIC was all there... and all of it was in preparation for Thursday night's performance at "RAW", a monthly showcase at The Piston, 937 Bloor St West (Toronto). That's tomorrow, so break out those smart phone calendars and squeeze me in, loves :-).

I'm especially excited to share the debut performances of THREE new singles at this event: Do You Believe, Give Me Something (set to be released next month!) & Cross My Mind (released Nov '11).

This month's edition of RAW features Jeremy Panda, Melissa Cameron & me with the band Thank The Academy feat. Mike McNeil on keys. The night kicks off at 9, I'm on after 10pm. Come, come, COME with us tomorrow! Let us take you places we've only just begun to discover ourselves.

See you there xox,

~Lisa Michelle

http://www.thisislisamichelle.com/

Happy New Year! (Yeah, I said it...)

2012-01-11T06:32:00.000-08:00

I'm one of those people who believes it's perfectly acceptable to wish someone Happy New Year right until January 31st. So Happy New Year to you and yours, I pray that you are on the verge or in the midst of creating new and beautiful beginnings for yourself. Big and small.

As for me, I've already dived head-first into 2012, setting the stage for big things to happen in the coming months! I have three shows lined up this month, starting TONIGHT (Wednesday, January 11th) at The Smiling Buddha, 961 College St. It's for an event called Spotlight: A Night of Toronto Soul, hosted by singer/songwriter (and friend) Chattrisse. I'll be doing an acoustic set around 9pm with Dave Stone on Guitar & Chris A (aka Skillz3) on percussion. The vibe has been soooo good in rehearsals, I promise to bring it to the stage this evening. So come check us out!
Next up, I'll be hitting the stage for M-Factor at The Old Nick, 123 Danforth Ave on Monday, January 16th. No cover, just a night of more acoustic soul beginning at 7:30pm with Elana Harte and my set sometime around 9pm.

On Thursday January 26th, I'll be performing at an event called RAW at The Piston, 937 Bloor St West, put on by the amazingly talented singer & songwriter Melissa Cameron, who'll also be playing that night. I'll be blessed with my FULL BAND that night, and they go by the name of Thank The Academy, with special guest Mike McNeil on the keys. When I've got all these talented boys around me, I get loud! So if you've only ever seen me perform in an acoustic setting and want to hear me scream, this is the show to be at.

February, I'll be M.I.A. as a solo artist, as I'll be joining the cast of OBEAH OPERA, a musical by Nicole Brooks. I'm SUPER excited about this as it's my first professional theatre performance, the cast is amazing and the story is going to be out of this world. Details are in my previous blog post.

So get ready for me, as I get ready for you. I hope to see you tonight... or next week... or whenever we can make time for eachother.

Love, blessings and creativity to you!

~Lisa Michelle

OBEAH OPERA

2011-12-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

SO! As mentioned in a previous post, I've recently been cast in my first professional musical theatre production! I'll be part of the chorus in Nicole Brooks' Obeah Opera, presented by b current and Theatre Archipelago.

I attended my first workshop/rehearsal this past weekend where Ms.Brooks (the play’s creator) introduced us to fellow cast & crew members, shared the story and inspiration behind Obeah Opera and even sang through the entire first act so we could hear the music we’ll eventually be performing ourselves. Oh, and they served split pea soup & hot apple cider during the break. All VEGAN! I am home, lol.

I’m so grateful to be a part of a show with such a generous theatre company, brilliant creators and a colourful, talented cast of women! This includes celebrated songstresses Joni NehRita & Saidah Baba Talibah in starring roles. I am a HUGE fan of both of these ladies… such an honour to be placed on stage with them and the other artists I have yet to meet but have already heard so much about.

So let’s go! The play opens at 918 Bathurst in February 2012, but EARLY BIRD TICKETS are already on sale! You can pick yours up or read up on the play itself by going here: http://www.obeahopera.com/ .

Much love, and hope to see you in those seats!

xox

~LM
http://www.thisislisamichelle.com/

I Just Wanna Be...

2011-12-07T00:21:00.000-08:00

Successful.

Damn. Don't we all wanna be successful? But I think we all want it in different ways. Some keep the bar low, some know that they're greatness is real and the sky's the limit. Wherever you set the bar, the truth is the bar doesn't exist. The sky ain't even the limit to what you're capable of. But I digress.

It's so easy to forget how free we really are, and so we hold back our own dreams with fear and doubt in ourselves. I still have many fears about being successful, but I'm no longer ignorant of them. I've seen them for what they are and so now I can conquer them one by one.

I'm inspired by artists who've accomplished much for themselves, in the name of success... the good old-fashioned way too. Hard work. Dedication. Perserverance. Belief in one's self. And all for the sake of:
"Money. Money and the Cars. Cars and the Clothes... I suppose." - Drizzy. AKA Successful-M*tha-F*c*a

I hadn't really heard of Aubrey Graham as a rapper until the release of his hit single "Successful" with Trey Songz. So in my mind, this is the song that made this actor/singer/rapper blow up.

There's something about the way this track speaks to everybody. At first listen, you might shrug it off as another MC talking about all the superficial crap he wants to get his hands on. But when Drake says it, you realize the song is about you! We all want something (and probably, a bunch of somethings), and that includes the things we 'shouldn't' want. Like Money. Cars... clothes... power... sex... success. Right or wrong, if there is even such a thing, we all can relate to that on some level. On Successful, Drake told us he wanted it all, and how much he strived for it. He craved the good. The bad. The unknown. Just like the rest of us. Except, he got it.

Which is why this is still my favourite song by the Young Money millionaire, so many years and hit singles later (this track was released in 2009). It has all the elements; tight vocals (by both Drake and Songz), the right hook, percussion you can feel... and a music video with a badass quote on the last frame.

"Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere." - Barack Obama

So in some way, even Obama is on side with Drake's sentiments ;-). "Making your mark" and "Having it all" are synonymous phrases, to me. Just different ways to measure success.

Take it in:

xox
~LM

"Cross My Mind" music video!!!

2011-11-16T13:42:00.000-08:00

Hey family!

For once, I'll keep it short & sweet and just let the music and the images speak for themselves.

A huge THANK YOU to the song's producer and co-writer Silver Roland, and of course, my first ever video director, Francisco Fuentes (http://www.birdoproductions.com/). Yet another sweet, talented professional I had the pleasure of working with. I love my job! :-)

Here it is, "Cross My Mind":

RELEASED!

2011-11-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

It's ALREADY a good day, and there's still so much more of it left :-). Spoke to two photographers about upcoming shoots, about to have lunch with one of my favourite musicians (Skillz-3-baby-what-you-need-lady!... sorry, you had to be there), then off to my on-camera scene study class in the Annex. Have I told you how much I love my life? I really do.

This is all coming off the heels of what happened yesterday. I got the call! Yes, the call we're always waiting for! All my actor friends will know what I mean by that, but what I'm saying is I BOOKED A ROLE IN A MUSICAL set to be staged Feb/March 2012 :-). I truly enjoyed the experience of every community theatre musical I've ever been in, but being booked in my very first professional (i.e. paid, lol) musical production feels like a step up the ladder I've been climbing on for years. I love that it's with an independant theatre company, which is well-known in the community for "developing and producing works rooted in experiences of the Canadian and International Black Diaspora" (as stated on their website).

So if you've read this far, you probably want to know the name of the play, the name of the theatre company, what it's about or possibly, all of the above? I'm afraid I can't say, as the company themselves haven't announced or released information about it as yet, so I'm not sure if I'm supposed to. Don't want to talk myself out of a job, ya know? But if you know me, you know I'm ALWAYS online, and the minute I can blab away about it, I will!!

Having said that, I DO still have something for you: my new single CROSS MY MIND! I've talked about it, posted about it and now it's poised and ready for the taking! This track is but one example of why I love working with artist & producer extraordinaire, Silver Roland. He wrote & produced Cross My Mind by sculpting a beloved hip hop sample into a soulful ode to love and summertime. I appear as co-writer, vocalist and grateful muse. The song doesn't just sound good, it feels good. The beat, the melody... it was fun to record and even better to listen to when it was all done.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been released. Introducing Cross My Mind:

Listen & Download here: http://soundcloud.com/lisamichelle/cross-my-mind

Dominica!

2011-10-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

Right now, I'm sitting in my husband's auntie's house on the beautiful island of Dominica. Not to be confused with the Dominican Republic, 'Dom-in-eek-ah' is a nature island, as they call it. Not the place for beach bums (I haven't seen anything resembling white sands) but if you're into mountains, hot springs, and lots and lots of greenery, this is definitely the place for you.

My first impression coming from the airport was a good one. Though it was extremely dark, I couldn't help but notice the lush vegetation that was everywhere. There also seemed to be a blanket of peace that swept over the night sky as we drove along the very narrow, unlit roads to Roseau, the capital of the island and the city we're staying in.

There are no highways or traffic lights in the entire country. The handful of sidewalks and street lamps are reserved for some of the downtown areas and even then, they're few and far between and explicitly unkempt. It's legal to park pretty much anywhere - road, gravel or grass - and the city buses are essentially unmarked passenger vans that take you two places: in or out of town. Basically, I'm learning the true meaning of what a "developing country" is and why Jamaicans tend to run jokes at the expense of "small islanders" :-).

By no means am I bashing Dominica, I actually really admire this place. I'm just telling it like I see it, with perhaps a little "big island" bias :-).

What I love about Dominica is their rich sense of pride and culture. We happen to be visiting during their Independence Day festivities which is a culmination of live music festivals, rallies and heritage celebrations that span over the course of 2 weeks. This year they're celebrating 33 years of independence from Great Britain and everyone from school children to politicians has been decked out in some form of traditional indigenous garb and heading to one of the aforementioned activities morning, noon or night since we've got here.
Just one day after my husband and I arrived (let's call him "Kirk" for the remainder of this post) we were shaking hands with the Prime Minister of the country at an outdoor heritage festival in a town called Veille Case. Most people say the name so fast and in such a thick accent, that I thought we were in a place called "Vegas" for most of the day, which had me thoroughly confused.

This particular heritage festival began with a whole lot of talking and presentations from various politicians and community leaders, followed by hours of song & dance performances backed by a traditional Creole folk band. Most of the songs sounded the same to me, but they all had a good, bouncy rhythm & African-style drums... though by the end of the 7 hour showcase, I'd grown weary of the sound of accordions and what appeared to be the exact same choreography in every set. But I loved and respected how the entire country seemed to be crammed into this small town to cheer themselves on and celebrate everything about who they are and where they came from. At one point, an 89-year old man, well-known and loved by the townspeople, took to the stage. I learned that he was the one who had taught much of the younger generations all the old-school traditional dance steps I was witnessing and so he shared a few steps of his own to the elated crowd. They went wild as his tiny frame wiggled about on stage... it was funny, sweet and impressive all at the same time.

Then there was "Creole in the Park" which is self-explanatory. 4-days, 2 stages and dozens of Creole and Reggae acts in a huge park that got crazy muddy with the stop-and-go showers that plague the month of October. They feature mostly local musicians but always splash in an international act to up the star-quality of the event. This year Bounty Killa was the biggest name on the bill, and I'm ashamed to say I missed him. Sorry Mr. Killa... we had spent all day in the hot sulfur springs in the mountains and had no energy to trek to make another trek to the park in the pouring rain. If it was Capelton, we would've done it (I like to think I'm part Rasta now, lol). I'm sure he was great though.

Now about those hot springs... WOW! I've never experienced anything like it. What I referred to earlier as lush green vegetation covering the island was an extreme understatement. What I've been seeing all around this place are actually rainforests. Just saying it sounds exotic and unreal to me, but that's where we've been spending some of our time these past few days (it should be more, but when you're staying with family, you kind of have an obligation to see family. And apparently, Kirk has a lot of family around here). These mountainous hikes in the rainforests are more beautiful than I could've ever imagined them to be. The vast array of plant species is amazing - the smells, colours and sounds something like a fairytale. I think I actually said aloud that I felt like Alice in Wonderland. I'm not sure exactly what I meant by that (I hardly ever know what I'm talking about), but I was trying to express how much I felt like we were in a completely different world.

Though the powers that be on the island have adorned the forests we visited with wooden steps and pipes to direct the hot sulfuric waters into both inground and above ground tubs, this did nothing to disturb the purity and essence of these magical grounds. I know I'm speaking about it uber-poetically, but I'm really grasping at every adjective I can thnk of to describe what it was like. Though, I don't think I can do it justice no matter how hard I try. God willing, you will or have already enjoyed it yourself. I just know that there aren't going to be too many experiences that top taking a hot sulfur spring bath in the heart of paradise. But back to the music...

... once the 4-day Creole in the Park event is over, the World Creole Music Festival begins. A 3-day weekend concert that also features local and international Creole and Reggae artists but rather than in a park, it takes place inside an enormous stadium apparently built by the Chinese government. Why the Chinese? Because they've literally set up shop in Dominica, owning a number of small businesses (mostly retail stores) in Roseau which has been hurting the local shop owners, according to pretty much every Dominican you speak to. The Chinese can afford to open stores that sell everything under the sun and for considerably less than the native businesses, and so they lose out. So my guess is that this stadium, which must have been a multi-million dollar endeavour, is the Chinese's attempt to keep resentment at a manageable low. It seems to be working because the festival tickets run at $125 US and yet, was full to capacity with only a handful of tourists last night. We got to see the 38-year old Jamaican band "Third World" (they are g-r-e-a-t) and Carimi, a Haitan band that seemed to be a crowd favourite. It was a good night, with Caribbean music booming across the island 'til the sun came up... it's just how they do festivals here. Noise laws are for chumps. And Torontonians, apparently.

It's only Sunday, so I still have over 5 days left, but apparently all the Independence Festivities will be winding down after this weekend. But I've already made some connections with some popular local musicians (Kirk's Tantie has friends in high places), so I may be making an appearance at a live acoustic soul night this coming Wednesday. We'll see what happens.

I'll see you all soon! I'm having fun here... the weather, even with all the rain, is fantastically warm and sunny, but I still miss home. I'm convinced that I'm currently the only vegan in the country, so it's been hell trying to dine out with my fellow travellers. Thank God (and mama) that I can cook and that I've been given free reign in Auntie's kitchen. Naturally, there's endless amounts of fruit and veg on the island, but no one seems to know what to do with it, except to boil it down with some crab or pig snout. I've been sorely missing avocado sushi with yam tempura, pad thai, falafel and other things I'll never find here. Oh yes, and I miss you too :-)

Until then...

xox

"Cross My Mind" music video shoot!

2011-10-20T00:06:00.000-07:00

SO... today was day 2 of 2 of the "Cross My Mind" video shoot. I probably should have blogged about it when I was fully awake (and considering it wrapped up almost 12 hours ago), but I got caught up trying to take over the world this evening :-).

Anyways, it was certainly a lot of fun. Very guerilla-style (what does that even mean?), in that we only used one camera, three locations/scenes, the help of a few friends and the "love interest" was played by... my actual love interest, LOL. Which only made it that much more special :-)

Self-editor's note: Ugh... I really gotta stop with the lol's and the smiley faces... I'll try to remember that I'm writing a blog, not a text message.

Exciting times are here! This music video will be ready for release by mid-November, the single itself is coming out next week (featuring a special guest!) and I knocked a musical theatre audition out of the park on Monday. Auditions are usually my worst enemies, so whether I get the part or not, I'm feeling pretty damn good about it either way! Sorry, can't tell you what it's for yet, just send those prayers up and hopefully I'll be inviting you to come watch me in it next Spring!

I am well loved, well supported and blessed. I wish I could thank everyone who I hold responsible for the good feelings I'm feeling right now, but the list would go on forever. So for now, let me thank everyone who made "Cross My Mind", the song and the video, come through to fruition:

Silver Roland (co-writer/producer/engineer), Francisco Fuentes (video director/producer), Janee Olivia & Skillz 3 from "Thank The Academy" (my bandmates in the video... and for reals!), Sonic Boom and Kensington Cornerstone Restaurant (for letting us shoot in your venues with a moment's notice), Sheree & Rosie (makeup artists), BettyKissStyle (styling consult) and of course, my 'love interest' - aka my favourite person in the whole world.

More thank yous to come, you all know that you all deserve them! This is but a chapter... just another day... just a moment in time. And I am eternally grateful to be able to share my life with you in this way... through music. xox

New Music! Bon appetit...

2011-09-07T00:32:00.000-07:00

I really don't care how cliche it sounds to you, but music really is my life. I LIVE only because I'm able to express myself, and I do it best through words and melodies.

After much ado, I have a little something to share with you since I released my EPs "Love Lessons" and "Rebound" way back in February (pick them up on iTunes, won't chya?!).

This new song is called "Cross My Mind", written by me and my musical counterpart Silver Roland (his blog is a must-read for music-heads everywhere: http://zadishefreeman.com/?cat=5).

Cross My Mind is a Neo-Soul track that we vibed out on top of Gangstarr's "Betrayal". The link below is just a quick, one-minute teaser of what we did... the full track will feature a guest MC who'll be laying down his bars in a matter of days, but I just couldn't WAIT! It's been so long since I've had new words and sounds to share, so I just had to offer up a little taste... if not for you, than for me :-).

I love the smooth, summer feel we conjured up... summer may be gone, but I still have you. Music: this one's for you.

I Don't Date Black Women

2011-08-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

“I don’t date black women”. If you’ve ever uttered this phrase, and you’re black, please check yourself. And if you feel the need to say it to me, a BLACK WOMAN, then check yourself again.

Few things get me going, but this phrase strikes a personal chord with me every time. It hurts. Yes, even though I’m already happily married to a black man who loves and adores me, it still hurts because you are talking about ME. Saying “I don’t date black women” translates to “I don’t think black women are worth my love/affection/attention” or a combination of all three.

Though I’m sure other races have said this about black women as well, I could care less. If you’re racist, your racist and that’s a whole other story – or blog post. But when I hear a black person say this about other black people, I feel a myriad of negative feelings. Let me break it down in an organized fashion, otherwise I could rant about this up and down, in zigzags and stripes:

Hurt – As I mentioned, if you “don’t date black women”, I take that personally and it hurts. What is so wholistically wrong with me that you wouldn’t want to get to know me on a deeper level? That you wouldn’t risk falling in love with me? And don’t tell me “well, not you specifically”… because if you made that ignorant, blanketed statement in the first place, than you have indeed included me in it

Confusion – Aren’t you black? In which case, isn’t your mama black? Got any sister’s and aunts with dark skin like your own? Do you think something is wrong with them too? How do you think they’d feel about your position on black women? How would you feel if someone told them they were born afflicted with inferiority… that they are not as beautiful as the other jewels on display? That they’re not worthy of your love/affection/attention? That they’ll be lucky to find someone who’ll love them and their big ass or nappy hair?

Pity – Ultimately, I pity the person with this mindset. Because to be black and hate black is to hate yourself. You can’t wash it off, no matter who you choose to date. Your children will be black, no matter how much you try to water down the percentage. You’ll always be seen as black, no matter the shade of the person on your arm. So get used to it. Better yet, LOVE IT.

I believe that love can find you in all kinds of shapes, sizes and colours. I’m not a purist or some radical freak. As a heterosexual female, I can assure you, I love men of ALL KINDS, lol!

It’s one thing to be open to love wherever it happens to find you. But it’s another to condemn an entire race based on your experiences with a few. So my people, before you go around saying “black women are this” or “black women are that” let me remind you that black women are… INDIVIDUALS. Like everyone else. Like you. Take a look in the mirror and check yourself.

I'll let Jill Scott take it from here:

iWrite. iSing.

2011-08-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

I write. I sing. I write things to sing to. I consider this a gift and a blessing. If I didn't have words and music in which to express myself, Lord knows how I would have made it this far. I have so many feelings and ideas running through my head at any given time, that pens, paper, Word documents, iPhone notepads and now blogging have become the keepers of my sanity. These are the ways I get to unwind the tangled threads of my thoughts. It's either that, or talk my husband's ear off... (I'm thinking he prefers the former suggestions).

I started this love affair with words a long, long time ago. I was always excited about short story projects in elementary school, often receiving much praise from my teachers for my mature use of language and interesting plot twists. At the time, I didn't think I was all that special... I simply loved to read, so naturally I regurgitated much of the language and themes from the books I was reading (Babysitters Club, Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High and the like). But while all my female classmates were reading the same things, it was my writing that stood out from the rest.

So there you have it, I've always been special. :-)... as are you, whoever's reading this. It's been said so many times that we tend to ignore it, but we all really do have something special and unique to offer the world. I tend to forget that. Often. I'm always second guessing my writing, singing, performing, acting... things I KNOW I'm not only good at, but that I was born to do. But sometimes I let seeds of insecurity grow into a belief, forgetting who I am.

I performed a few songs at a fundraiser for my friend Arni's family the other day. He passed away last December (as I talked about here). I was more than happy to do it as I'm very close with his wife & children and would do anything for them. But I haven't performed in almost four months and I was afraid that it was going to show. I gave what felt like a mediocre performance and was grateful when I was able to get off the stage. There were no major mishaps... no cracked notes, no forgetting the words, in general it was "good". But I can tell you the word "special" was far from my vocabulary in that moment.

The fundraiser continued on to be a great night after that - lots of drinks, laughter and shared memories. I quickly got over myself and enjoyed the occasion with all the friends who'd come out. Then I was introduced to a girl by a mutual friend. She was a former co-worker of Arni's, but I'd never met her before this day. Or so I'd thought. She had seen me perform once before at another event and told me how much my voice resonates with her every time. That there's something about my aura, the way I sing and the songs I choose that really speak to her on another level. She added that I have something special... I have "it" and if anyone tells me differently, not to believe them. The conversation was about 15 minutes long, with me saying a number of awkward thank-yous between her kind words (why is it that I'm so quick to believe the negative things said about me, but compliments make me feel awkward?). Perhaps the convo would've gone on even longer, but I thanked her once more and excused myself, not knowing what to do with all her doting.

She's just one girl, I don't know her from Eve and perhaps her iPod is full of music I'd never listen to. But for some reason, I believed every word she said. Not just because I wanted to, but I felt like she was telling the truth. I'm not a celebrity, I'm not famous, there was nothing for her to gain by sharing with me in the way that she did. And because I know how God works with me, I believe it was a gifted reminder. My summer-long hiatus, though necessary, caused me to lose some faith in my abilities and her words got me a few steps closer to my full restoration.

I write. I sing. I write things to sing to. I consider this a gift and a blessing, because I know it can mean as much to you as it does to me. Through all the ups and downs, this is what I'll continue to do.

Transformation, Inspiration & Wotlessness!

2011-08-05T03:19:00.000-07:00

Hello world!

I've been resisting the blogosphere because I didn't understand it's purpose for a musician. I've got music, photos and videos on my official website , what more could you want?

But I get it now. What my website was missing is ME! I'm more than a bio and some video clips or professional studio headshots. No one wants the candy-coated schpeal anymore, they want the truth. We don't just want to see artists perform, we want to SEE that artists are real people, with flaws and insecurities, mood swings and bad hair days.

That said, I wonder just how inconsistent this blog is going to be and if you're all going to think I'm a scatterbrained freak by the time I've made a few posts. Because while I'm very much a singer and songwriter by profession, there are a million other themes and topics that weigh on my mind from day to day (sometimes from moment to moment).

For instance, the past year has been one of monumental change for me. Since last spring to now, I got my first tattoo, got into a car accident, had a scare with my vocal chords, became vegan, started growing locs, took a 3-month hiatus from performing and played mas for Caribana for the first time (which was wicked fun, by the way). If I was blogging during that time, it would have been a hot mess! Or perhaps a very entertaining read, I guess I'll never know.

At any rate, this 3-month hiatus was just what I needed. I was already getting bored with my very short career and wasn't inspired to create or produce. So I sat this summer out and just let me be me. At first I felt silly, calling myself a singer yet not having any shows on the horizon and a very lazy dazy studio schedule. But I knew forcing it wasn't the answer, so while I patiently awaited the Inspiration Train, I had what might be the best summer I've ever had. I hit up the CN Tower, Ontario Place, Wonderland (twice), Sugar Beach, Beaches Jazz Festival and more.

Along the way, I did end up catching that train (better to wait for it then tear up the tracks in frustration). I'm working on a mix-tape and a full-length album (with Silver Roland) simultaneously, co-producing a fundraising event for SKETCH and finding my groove in the film/tv industry once again. I'm back!

Even with all that, I still have to say that Caribana was the highlight of my summer. For real! I kinda felt like I was under water for a while and this was my 'coming out' party, so to speak, llol. If I learned anything during this whole transformation process or whatever it was, it's that there's nothing sunshine, Soca and a bikini can't fix :-)...